I had a little quiet time today and had a few moments to contemplate an issue that we all think about when we have children. Where do parents draw the line when we are making decisions for our children? A few examples. How many sports or activites should they do at one time?...What is their priority as a 3rd grader, a 7th grader, a Sophomore, and a Senior? How much influence should we have on who their friends are? At what age is it appropriate to date, have a cell phone or drive to Cleveland by themselves? I don't have the right answer. I'm not sure I have any answer. I know that we (Dan and I) probably have different answers depending on which child we are talking about.
Back about 2 years ago, Jenna was sent an invitation from the University of Toledo, after she was accepted, to apply for the Honors Program. There was criteria she had to meet, paperwork to fill out and then basically make a decision if she wanted to undertake that extra responsibility of taking Honors classes. She had a great ACT score and great grades and I highly encouraged her to at least apply. She was accepted. She really didn't see the long term benefit of the honor, in fact, I'm not sure she saw any benefit. She had to squeeze in Honors Classes, which in addition to scheduling around her practice times, is very difficult. The homework is more intense and the requirements of her coursework is more demanding. I highly encouraged her to do this, as I saw it to be an honor for her to be accepted.
Halfway through her Freshman year, she really was negative about the whole program because of a "not so great" Honors professor, and brought up again that she really didn't see the benefit. This year, she still complained how difficult it is and will continue to get worse as it gets harder and harder to schedule classes around practice time. (She has to block out every day already from 2:30 to 5:30.) I feel I influenced her pretty heavily to taking on this commitment. I have even thought about it on a few occasions and told her that if it really didn't work, then it was okay to drop out.
Just wanted to share this, because sometimes I question myself if I did the right thing. Is more always better? Is the added stress worth it? What will she really benefit from this in the long run? We may have to wait a few years to really find out her opinion. I feel pretty strongly though, that this is one example of something she is doing only because of me....or close. I think if I would have totally left the decision up to her, she would have not gone through with it.
Either way, I can't say I have regrets, and I'm not sure if I will change how I go about influencing my kids in the future.....just some thoughts to ponder.
Jenna received her grades today for this last semester. She is ecstatic. She received her first collegiate 4.0.
Congratulations, Jenna. We are so very proud of you.
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